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Being stared at - Does it make you uncomfortable?
#1
I'm sure a lot of you have had the experience of getting stared at in certain countries. I've certainly had my fair share of hearing cries of "Ah! Gaijin daa!" or being stared at slack-jawed in Tokyo by a bunch of kids and I have people unabashedly gape at me in Italy (and to a lesser extent Spain). As a child in Japan, obviously it made me feel quite self conscious, but oddly enough it bothers me much more now. I get stared at at least a few times a day here. I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny and I rarely feel relaxed in public, since half the time, I can't work out why the hell they're staring at me. OK, I'm obviously foreign here, but so are a lot of other people. Could it be that being a halvsie is particularly disconcerting towards 'normal' people, since they can't easily pigeonhole you?
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#2
You'll get used to it and won't even notice after a while (because it's not worth your time and effort), or decide that living in Japan is not for you. Seems to be the two extremes with foreign looking halvsies.
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#3
^I don't think she lives in Japan though.

It's weird, I've never felt stared at in Japan, maybe I don't pay enough attention to people around me. Very rarely do I feel stared at in Sweden. Maybe a couple of times when I've been up north at my grandmothers cabin, very rural area. But up there I think people are surprised to see any new people at all, so I don't think they stare just because I look foreign.
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#4
When I was in Japan last year... didn't notice anyone gawping at me, even though I was walking around in a slack-jawed daze.....

Isn't Japan... busy, concretey, power lines adorn the streets like garlands..... and aren't the locals small...
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#5
no one stares at me. people usually just avert their eyes in horror and hope fugly is not contagious [Image: dry.gif] [Image: evil.gif]
地獄少女
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#6
i don't really recall being stared at in japan..'cept for one time in kyoto when i walked out of a restaurant and this group of school girls was staring at me..
i dont think i felt bothered at all..
maybe because i just ignored it? wasn't paying any attention

i get mixed responses anyway when people guess my ethnicity, so i would assume it just varies person to person, not country to country

i DO feel uncomfortable when i see people around florida who are mexican or guatemalan staring at me..because it's a really creepy i'm-undressing-you-with-my-eyes stare...my mum once told me it's a cultural thing because those men are taught to stare at women as a kind of compliment or something if they find one attractive.. ??

i don't know

i just thought though..it's kind of weird because i feel much more comfortable/at home around white people or at least an even mix of different people (because i grew up mostly around a homogenous enviro.)..but i guess i might look foreign to them ^^;;
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#7
People who started at me in Japan were always kids. I think the adults are too polite to do that. In Italy, where I've been living for the past seven years, I get it everyday. A Romanian friend once told me she felt the same way. I usually ignore it and don't bother glaring back, but there are times when I'm like "oh come on! What could possibly be so fascinating?" It used to happen in Spain as well, so I'm wondering if it's a Mediterranean thing. I still haven't figured out whether it's something that's considered rude here since people seem to do it quite unabashedly. I don't know if this is also the case in Portugal and Greece.
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#8
Fugly??? You must be insane! Either you're very talented with photoshop, or you're excessively modest!

<!--quoteo(post=180577:date=May 8 2007, 08:19 PM:name=umeboshi)-->QUOTE(umeboshi @ May 8 2007, 08:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->no one stares at me. people usually just avert their eyes in horror and hope fugly is not contagious [Image: dry.gif] [Image: evil.gif]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
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#9
erm erm okini that's quite sweet but im too poor to afford photoshop LOL.

I did get a lot of mean stares when i was younger (kyoto after all) and other kids can be VERY cruel. Try getting called 怪獣 everytime u go to the playground [Image: crazy.gif] I developed quite a thick skin thanks to all of that stuff , people can call me anything and i couldnt care less. lol
地獄少女
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#10
In Japan I don't notice it
But when it happened to me in Berlin, boy, was I surprised......
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#11
I know i'm a bit older than some of you.
From my college days and organizing... I used to be monitored.
Yes, being stared at is annoying. However, like most people, you should brush your teeth, look decent enough, and etc. etc. so that
when you find out your photo is posted at the police station, that your class is being monitored by the feds and other corporate industry "spies" or someone brings a newspaper photo of you to your attention... you look o.k.
Remember... candids are free game even for the media.
So, yes, look good ...and the stares won't be so bad.

I think I'd be more uncomfortable if I posted my itenerary like Hanako did... and was being "stared"at along the way...
[color="#dddd00"][center][size="1"][/size] [/center][center][size="1"]"for Zen's belief in Sudden illumination, a fleeting glimpse of existence just as it really is."[/size][/center][/color]
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#12
<!--quoteo(post=180577:date=May 8 2007, 02:19 PM:name=umeboshi)-->QUOTE(umeboshi @ May 8 2007, 02:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->no one stares at me. people usually just avert their eyes in horror and hope fugly is not contagious [Image: dry.gif] [Image: evil.gif]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Umboshi, I oughta give you a virtual flick in the ear for saying that. You are absolutely lovely and striking. I, on the other hand, find that people often ignore my presence, particularly when I lack makeup and don my thick glasses. (The horror, the horror!) However, I've seen people all over the globe knock into poles and loose their footing when my sister (who was the professional model, mind you) walks past. Funny story, my sister and I went out to lunch at this expensive restaurant in L.A. and our waiter accidentally knocked my iced tea all over the table. While majority of my drink fell into my lap, when he came running out with towels, he literally threw me a rag and began offering clean towels and addressing his deepest apologizes directly to my sister, who barely had a drop on her. Unfortunately for that schmuck, I was the one paying for the meal! [Image: laughlong.gif]

I actually got more attention in China than in Japan. (People hardly noticed my presence during my most recent trip to Japan.) Hmm, maybe I have super powers that render me invisible...or maybe I'm dead! Oooo, voice beyond the grave...Ooooo! [Image: laugh.gif]

Or, I could just be fugly. Who knows?
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#13
pffffffffft liar! u look like April from america's next top model [Image: sleep.gif]

I know what u mean about waiters tho , when im out with my friend Maiko , who also used to model like your sister , they're all niceness and smiles. I'm lucky if they throw a breadstick at me [Image: mellow.gif]
地獄少女
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#14
<!--quoteo(post=180596:date=May 8 2007, 05:15 PM:name=umeboshi)-->QUOTE(umeboshi @ May 8 2007, 05:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->pffffffffft liar! u look like April from america's next top model [Image: sleep.gif]

I know what u mean about waiters tho , when im out with my friend Maiko , who also used to model like your sister , they're all niceness and smiles. I'm lucky if they throw a breadstick at me [Image: mellow.gif]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Oh, you just made my day! [Image: blush21.gif] But seriously, I loves me some professionally done Photoshop! (Also, it's an old pic. Thank you internet for anonymity! Woot!) It's funny you should mention breadsticks, since I am known in Washington for my deadly prowess with a crusty baguette. I actually waved a breadstick (Mmmm, hungry...) at the another waiter's face when he kept talking with my sis and it was my time to order. The guy continued to ignore me, so I dug the hardened bread wand into his temple. When he asked me what my problem was, I merely gave my best samurai pose with my flaky sword and told him that either I get my meal or he found out what life is like with one testicle. [Image: blink.gif]

It was my finest moment, but my wuss of a sister dragged me out before I could test my skills. [Image: mad.gif]

Moral of the story: Fine wine does not settle well with three previously ingested shots of tequila and a history of anger management problems. Remember that, kiddos.
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#15
<!--quoteo(post=180577:date=May 8 2007, 11:19 AM:name=umeboshi)-->QUOTE(umeboshi @ May 8 2007, 11:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->no one stares at me. people usually just avert their eyes in horror and hope fugly is not contagious [Image: dry.gif] [Image: evil.gif]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->


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Global nomad, haven't you realized that maybe they are looking at you cos you are pretty? [Image: smile.gif]
Actually when I was in Japan I got stared all the time. The most annyoing thing was trying to eat my food and have somebody at the next table just looking at me. I was in this restaurant in this small town in Oita, I was with my ex and a friend and this very old lady was just staring at me like hypnotised to the point that I have to change chairs and seat giving her my back.
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#16
Oh yes! Half the reason I'm so heavy is because I hate being stared at by guys. But here, you get stared at by just being heavy so I've been losing weight. I just can't win. Anyway, I was on the train last night and I guess the Japanese men aren't used to seeing a tiny bit of cleavage because they kept staring at my chest! I finally pulled my bag across my shoulder so the flap of my jacket covered up my decolletage and they quit. It wasn't an obvious stare though. I could see them in my peripheral vision when they thought I wasn't looking. I also kept moving around in the train when side bars were available. There was no way I was reaching up to grab a ring.
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#17
I get stared at, mostly by guys. I don't know if it's because they're trying to figure out what I am, or if it's because I'm so damn hot. [Image: rolleyes.gif]

No, seriously, I always chalk up stares to people thinking I look odd.
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#18
Shit... I live in the US. I get stared at alla time. I usually counter the stare with one of my own and a hearty, high amplitude (>110 decibels) "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT!!!" Seems to draw more stares for some odd reason. But usually the one who was initially doing the staring stops, it's just that the rest of the people who may be around jerk their heads in my direction.

Does it make me uncomfortable?? Hardly. Why should it? I'm a fookin' vision. [Image: cool.gif]
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#19
<!--quoteo(post=180577:date=May 9 2007, 04:19 AM:name=umeboshi)-->QUOTE(umeboshi @ May 9 2007, 04:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->no one stares at me. people usually just avert their eyes in horror and hope fugly is not contagious [Image: dry.gif] [Image: evil.gif]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Yeah, it better not be. [Image: shutup.gif]
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#20
too late! u already put your filthy boy-eyes on me. Its happening....... DEAL
地獄少女
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