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Being stared at - Does it make you uncomfortable?
#41
I admire your restraint. I would have beaten the guy to a bloody pulp long ago. Though I'd say filing an official complaint would be a good place to start.
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#42
<!--quoteo(post=183233:date=May 24 2007, 08:08 AM:name=FATguy)-->QUOTE(FATguy @ May 24 2007, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Being stared at is nothing.
When I lived in Hiroshima in the '70s - all of the furriners living there knew each other, and there weren't a whole lot of us.
Soooo.... for the average person on the street, seeing a furriner in the flesh, as in, NOT on a freakin' "Twinings Tea Please" TV commercial, was a BIG thing... I had little kids stare while chasing me, and obasans on bicycles would run into them, but it didn't stop them...
Wanna know what's worse than being stared at?
How about having someone tell everyone you work with that you are something that you are not...

Okay, I have a "gaijin-face" I look more furrin than Japanese. Can I help that? Anyone know of a good plastic surgeon?
In the US, while living in the midwest, people would think I was either American Indian or from Mexico by heritage.
Over on the West coast of the US, a lot thought I was Mexican.
Here in Japan, quite a few think I am from Brazil, or have some sort of Latin heritage.
In Akihabara once, someone called out to me in their native tongue, "Hola Amigo!"

When my mother died suddenly, I rushed to Narita to get a plane back home. One of the security ladies there asked if I was booked on Turkish airways, or whatever Turkey's Airline is called. It's not unusual to call out to passengers who may be late for their plane ready to take off, and because I may possess some facial characteristics of someone from Turkey, she asked, I guess.

I told this episode to a guy at the office.

He turns around, and says that I DO look Turkish - in fact, I look Al Qaida too... WTF???
Then he jokes around that I have a copy of the Koran in my desk, that I bow towards Mecca everyday at the same time, that I received Al Qaida training before coming to Japan, ANYTHING and everything that he can think of to make me out as a terrorist. I have been asking him for nearly TWO years now to cut it out, but he won't. A while back, after a business trip, I whip out my passport in which I had some receipts for money I wanted back from the company... He says, lemme see your passport, and I, stupidly, handed to him without thinking about anything. His reply was, "They do some good forgery work in Arabia - looks authentic to me..."
So anyway, yesterday, I just couldn't take it anymore, and snapped.
He had received an e-mail from a customer who is not too good at English. He asked me if I could understand what he was trying to say, so I read it, and explained to him what I thought it read. He understood, and called the factory to explain it to them, by saying, "According to the Arabian sitting next to me..." Am I crazy? or is that just fucking RUDE? Help the guy out, and he insults me... So if the guy had me over to dinner, and after stuffing myself, I shit on his living room carpet - is THAT rude???
I lost it. I'm sorry, I felt soooo much like breaking his jaw, but since I was in the office, I decided to be civil. I turned off my computer, went home, and hoped to cool down. Trouble is, the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. I imagine him cracking that joke at a company party... "He's actually an Arab terrorist, and his passport is a fake... " ha fucking ha ha. So now, everyone in the office thinks it's fun to make me out as a terrorist...

Let me be perfectly clear.
Being called an "Arab", "Turkish", or from ANY Middle East country, or accusations that I practice in one of the religions practiced there - no insult.
Being called one of the above in association with Terrorist groups residing in those countries - insult.
Being called "Al Qaida", "Terrorist", "Guerilla" or anything associated with exactly what the US is fighting against right now - prepared to spend a month or so in the hospital having your food chewed FOR YOU? (I would go for the nose, but he wears glasses, and I don't want to cut my fist on broken glass...)

And if you think that I'm paranoid, one of the salesguys at the head office was discussing a blueprint with one of our designers. The designer says that he cannot understand the english on the drawing, so the salesguy told him to "Ask the Al Qaida sitting across from him" (me, of course...) so the shit has spread - and now it's about to hit the fan.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

I was gonna ask the same thing with Marisuke.. where is he from? are all your co-workers Japanese?
That is terrible.. I am sorry.. I d snap... I d hit him hard.. and all the others.. how stupid can u be>?!!!!
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#43
Hell, F-G....invite him down to the local dojo, and just before you get there (assuming the chickenshit bastard accepts) a sound thrashing in a nearby alley might slow his proclivity for being a dick just a small amount. Then, if that ain't enough, your thought of making someone else have to chew his food would be the icing on the cake. F*ck him, he's a moron and should be treated accordingly. Escalate, brutha....
[color="#0000FF"]Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak....or in some cases, post.[/color]
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#44
I agree with GN, start by filing an official complaint with senior management. Just so that you have it on paper. And if he still continues, just go nuts and curse him out in front of everyone.
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#45
<!--quoteo(post=183282:date=May 24 2007, 02:47 PM:name=Tadashi)-->QUOTE(Tadashi @ May 24 2007, 02:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->I agree with GN, start by filing an official complaint with senior management. Just so that you have it on paper. And if he still continues, <b>just go nuts and curse him out in front of everyone</b>.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

That might backfire... people might say that he's the gaijin psycho in the office or whatever [Image: unsure.gif]
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#46
Start a journal. Write down every infraction he does, and write your response to him. Be sure to be clear in your meaning - tell him you don't appreciate it when he says that. If you are working in Japan, it may not be as effective as it would in America, but it will at least give you something to work off of.

Man... that guy just sounds like an ass. This guy sounds like he belongs in Office Space or something. What a dick.
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#47
<!--quoteo(post=183283:date=May 24 2007, 08:56 PM:name=Marisuke)-->QUOTE(Marisuke @ May 24 2007, 08:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->That might backfire... people might say that he's the gaijin psycho in the office or whatever [Image: unsure.gif]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Sure, but would you rather go on with them thinking he's a terrorist, or a pushover you can just make fun of endlessly?
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#48
Hapacheese's advice is the best course of action. Although it may not feel like it, this is a case of workplace bullying, and it's always strongly recommended to keep a detailed log of each incident (time, place, witnesses) so that you have evidence to back up your claim, and it will also be useful in an eventual lawsuit if you decide to go there.
If you want to scare the guy into leaving alone, you could also try carrying around a tape recorder of cellphone, and next time he starts his crap, ask him to wait a second, take out your recorder so that he sees it, and ask him to kindly repeat/continue what he was saying since you'd like to record it as evidence. Do this often enough and he might get the message.
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#49
we haven't heard back from him in a while [Image: unsure.gif]
Do you think he's gone and crashed a plane into his office? [Image: hmm.gif]

He said that even his boss is participating in the "joke" so reporting it wouldn't really help. [Image: hmm.gif]
Make every moment count!
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#50
It might. If you submit a formal complaint, his boss is likely to take it more seriously. If he doesn't, go one step higher on the corporate ladder, or head over to HR/jinjibu. A lot of Japanese businessmen, I've noticed, like to take a piss out of people they think they are buddy buddy with. But, a lot of them simply don't know where to draw the line. Putting your foot down *hard* and specifically showing them where the line is through official means will usually get their attention. You run the risk of alienating yourself from your coworkers, but it sounds like he's already feeling alienated by their actions... so there isn't much to lose, IMO.

I mean, if they were drinking buddies and they regularly took pop shots at each other, that's one thing. But he's repeatedly told him to stop, and nobody should have to put up with a hostile work environment like that.
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#51
oooh, FatGuy, you're back to address the issue! [Image: w00t.gif]
What did you do? bomb? plane? machine gun?
Make every moment count!
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#52
I've learnt the hard way, that taking the piss out of Japanese is not a good idea (because they usually don't "fight" back with their own jibes), so it surprises me that your colleagues do it.
Are you colleagues Japanese or not? [Image: eh.gif]
Make every moment count!
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#53
My colleagues in the US office are not Japanese for the most part, but I was referring primarily to HQ in Tokyo. Granted, it's probably the fact that in my industry, the average age is fairly young, but even so, they are constantly throwing out all sorts of remarks like that (we're all buddies, but sometimes it does get a bit annoying).

One particular guy who is pretty high up the corporate ladder *always* has to comment on the size of my face/head. I have a *huge* noggin - not afraid to admit that. Especially when compared to most Japanese dudes. But one time when some coworkers in Japan took me out to dinner and karaoke, and my brother joined us for karaoke because he happened to be in town, the first thing out of his mouth (without even saying "hi" to my brother) was, "Okay, if you have the biggest head/face in Japan, he must have the second biggest." I laughed it off (and didn't offer a comeback because he is a board member), but I thought that was extremely rude.

/Sorry for the tangent...
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#54
Sorry for the suspense guys. I took the day off yesterday in hopes that the guy would realize the mental stress his little joke has placed upon me.
I came into the office at 7am. The business day begins at 8:30. I wrote a couple of e-mails (including the one below) and left a DVD on my desk, and left. I felt like writing up a formal complaint to upper management, but I thought I'd give this guy one more chance (figuring if he doesn't understand my agony after reading my e-mail, he never will.)
This is what I had to say:
<!--quoteo-->QUOTE<!--quotec-->Good Morning Dude,

Yes, I am taking the day off today.

Yesterday, 24 hours after the incident, and 8 hours after I told you why,
you said you understood why I was upset, and apologized.

I am sorry that I did not jump up and give you a hug and a kiss right there and then.

On September 11, 2001 a group of people that you have been associating with myself took the
lives of almost 3000 innocent defenseless people. Among them, a little over 20 Japanese
citizens were lost. That is over 20 Japanese and almost 3000 families who's lives were
changed from that day on because of these people that you seem to enjoy having myself
associated with.

Personally, I feel it is in the worst possible taste, and anyone who can laugh at the idea of me
being a terrorist is one SICK mother fucker.

I despise terrorism.
I despise the association to terrorism.

I have been asking, begging, telling you to stop for the last two years, but you seem to like to
joke about me based soley on the way I look. Do I ACT like a fucking terrorist? Have you ever
seen me do ANYTHING that would remotely put me in the same category as a terrorist?
Remember, you are jokingly accusing me of being the enemy of my home country.

Yesterday I told you, "If you joke about something too many times, people may just start to
believe it."

So... what if I told you that the president of so-and-so company is gay. You laugh.
Then, someone from the Head office tells you the exact same thing... Will you not wonder if there is
actually some truth to my statement?

So. You are talking on the phone, you make a joke about me being a fucking terrorist.
Someone in this office, who hardly ever talks to me, who hardly even knows me, who doesn't
even know my nationality overhears your joke.
Then, Mr. A (actual person) from the head office calls this person up and tells him to "have the Arab translate
it for you."
How would you feel in the this person's situation? (Actual event, by the way)

You said you understand... You don't.

And I cannot accept an apology for something that you do not understand.

I have left a DVD on my desk. Titled "United 93"
Take it home, WATCH IT. Don't tell me "I didn't have time" - MAKE the fucking time.
I NEED to have that DVD BACK on Monday as it is my father's ONLY copy, and he expects it
back.

If you can watch this DVD without fallng asleep, beginning to end, and STILL associate me
with these terrorists, Good luck in life - you will definitely NEED it.

I would hope that you see EXACTLY why I am SOOOO FUCKING PISSED OFF at your childish
fucking comments over the past TWO FUCKING YEARS. I could only hope that after watching
this movie that you would not only CEASE to associate me with these sick mother fuckers,
but you would reprimand anyone else who does.

Is a group that MURDERS innocent citizens in cold blood - something to LAUGH about?

Hopefully, still friends,
FATguy<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Came in this morning, the DVD is still on my desk, and I have received NO answer whatsoever.
I hope he has a lawyer...
I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
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#55
He obviously has no friggin' brain, so he must have a mouthpiece. What a chickenshit fuck. Good luck with whatever you're planning, F-G.
[color="#0000FF"]Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak....or in some cases, post.[/color]
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#56
I have just finished a letter (in Japanese) that goes something like this:

COMPLAINT:

For the past two years, I have been refered to by my collegue while in the office, at company sponsored events, etc, as
"Arabian Terrorist" or "Al Qaida Guerilla" to mention a few, on numerous occasions.

I have asked that he stop making refernces, but he continued.
The last case was on May 23, after helping him with a translation from a customer, he explains to our factory the details, starting with,
"According to the Arab sitting next to me" (And I gave the factory worker's name, so they can confirm that with him.) which I find insulting.
Furthermore, other employees now refer to me as "the Arab".

I feel that the association to a group that has taken the lives of thousands of innocent people is simply a vulgar insult, and I am unable to cope with the mental stress that this association has brought to me.

If the management of this company sends him a direct warning, and he still does not honor my wishes, I intend to litigate, and will most likely be calling employees and possibly upper management as key witnesses to the hearings. Your cooperation is requested.

Do you think they'll let THAT sit on the back burner?


Now, get this... like I said before, I have never really been told that I LOOK like someone from the Middle East. Even the Turkish airways ordeal, no one said I LOOK Turkish, it's just that if I WAS booked on that flight, I had better hurry up - nothing more, nothing less. Okay, when I had a moustache, a friend of mine said that I should shave it, saying that I looked like a "Japanese Hussein" but other than that - zip.

Comparison to ONE person I don't find insulting... Others can tell just by looking that I am NOT that person, right?
Call me a monkey, a pig, whatever... people can tell just by looking.
But if you call me part of a murderous group of savages over and over and over again, there WILL be one or two who will take it seriously.

About a year or so after the subway attack by the Aum Shinrikyo, the company I was with at the time hired a skinny kid who was rumored to be one of the cult members. He never ate lunch, and only had a cup of hot water while he quietly read. Typical of an Aum cult follower. And even though the accusation was brought up by his own actions, not by word of mouth, I refrained from making any reference to it. Turns out he was... and he was fired. But what if I had said something, he wasn't, but fired anyway? Wouldn't my accusation be solely responsible for his dismissal?
I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
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#57
I think you did the right thing by writing that letter of complaint. Hopefully they will take it seriously and give him some sort of reprimand. And hopefully that guy will stop being an ass.
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#58
Once an ass, always an ass. Well, in my experience anyhow.
I ain't never seen no ass turn into sumfink else, but it would be cool.
(Hey, my ass turns into a merry-go-round!)

Sorry.

Anyway, that should do the trick mate, and if doesn't you should sue his ass(!) to hell and back. Asshole.
[url="http://sasasunakku.com"]Sasasunakku[/url]
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#59
<!--quoteo(post=183503:date=May 25 2007, 09:55 PM:name=FATguy)-->QUOTE(FATguy @ May 25 2007, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->I have just finished a letter (in Japanese) that goes something like this:

COMPLAINT:

For the past two years, I have been refered to by my collegue while in the office, at company sponsored events, etc, as
"Arabian Terrorist" or "Al Qaida Guerilla" to mention a few, on numerous occasions.

I have asked that he stop making refernces, but he continued.
The last case was on May 23, after helping him with a translation from a customer, he explains to our factory the details, starting with,
"According to the Arab sitting next to me" (And I gave the factory worker's name, so they can confirm that with him.) which I find insulting.
Furthermore, other employees now refer to me as "the Arab".

I feel that the association to a group that has taken the lives of thousands of innocent people is simply a vulgar insult, and I am unable to cope with the mental stress that this association has brought to me.

If the management of this company sends him a direct warning, and he still does not honor my wishes, I intend to litigate, and will most likely be calling employees and possibly upper management as key witnesses to the hearings. Your cooperation is requested.

Do you think they'll let THAT sit on the back burner?


Now, get this... like I said before, I have never really been told that I LOOK like someone from the Middle East. Even the Turkish airways ordeal, no one said I LOOK Turkish, it's just that if I WAS booked on that flight, I had better hurry up - nothing more, nothing less. Okay, when I had a moustache, a friend of mine said that I should shave it, saying that I looked like a "Japanese Hussein" but other than that - zip.

Comparison to ONE person I don't find insulting... Others can tell just by looking that I am NOT that person, right?
Call me a monkey, a pig, whatever... people can tell just by looking.
But if you call me part of a murderous group of savages over and over and over again, there WILL be one or two who will take it seriously.

About a year or so after the subway attack by the Aum Shinrikyo, the company I was with at the time hired a skinny kid who was rumored to be one of the cult members. He never ate lunch, and only had a cup of hot water while he quietly read. Typical of an Aum cult follower. And even though the accusation was brought up by his own actions, not by word of mouth, I refrained from making any reference to it. Turns out he was... and he was fired. But what if I had said something, he wasn't, but fired anyway? Wouldn't my accusation be solely responsible for his dismissal?<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

I so feel for you FATguy. [Image: hugs.gif] [Image: hugs.gif] [Image: hugs.gif]
Too many people who I know have gone through this type of scenario.
If there is a society near you that is supportive of your race & culture, write to them and seek support.
Locally, these scenes get too tense, and can become violent. I already lost my brother, nearly lost a friend @46 sai, 2 women I knew moved, I moved, my friend moved, my brother seemingly died from a sawed off shotgun blow to his brain in an "üpscale" white neighborhood.
I pray for you and hope that this comes to a positive resolution in your case immediately.


Oko_ne
[color="#dddd00"][center][size="1"][/size] [/center][center][size="1"]"for Zen's belief in Sudden illumination, a fleeting glimpse of existence just as it really is."[/size][/center][/color]
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#60
Well I came into the office this morning expecting some kind of reaction, but so far nothing...
Maybe he intends to discuss it over lunch, so I guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, and see what happens at noon.
If nothing, I guess I'll have to pay the General Manager a visit with a piece of paper with my "hanko" on it.

It's really sad that it has to come to this, and I certainly hope that I do not have to litigate - too much time and money spent on something that all he has to do is say "sorry" for and promise to never do it again. Kinda stupid that I have to get John Law involved in something so trivial.

He is Japanese, but was raised in the US, the UK and Germany - speaks fluent English and German.

So what would happen if I started spreading rumors that he is Neo-Nazi? I wouldn't stoop to such a low level, but I imagine that he wouldn't find it too funny. Not that Neo-Nazis are responsible for any terrorist acts on this side of the globe.

So what if I spread a rumor that before joining this company he was an active member of the Aum Shinrikyo cult? They recruited him for his German language ability... silly shit that has no foundation of truth. Like I said, I am NOT going to stoop to this level.

I WILL, however, make it a point to tell upper management of his sick sense of humor.

I still cannot see how anyone with half a conscience can laugh at/about a group of murderers responsible for the violent deaths of almost 3000 people in ONE freaking day...
I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
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