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Being stared at - Does it make you uncomfortable?
#61
I've never been to Japan, but from what I've heard, I imagine that I'd be more stared at than usual.

Ironically, I'm not stared at by anyone but usually Asians here in the US (California, specifically). I think it has more to do with my height/size though. It does make me a bit uncomfortable and is probably one of the reasons why I'm so self-conscious about my size.
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#62
aww don't worry
im a round little ball and i don't seem to attract attention in japan
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#63
@gaijin - what is your ethnicity anyway? and in what country did you grow up?
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#64
<!--quoteo(post=183821:date=May 28 2007, 12:45 PM:name=gaijin)-->QUOTE(gaijin @ May 28 2007, 12:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->a russian. [Image: smile.gif] the most discriminated of all the nations all over the world<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

With all due respect, that's news to me. I'd think historically that Africa and blacks, in general, have experienced much of the discrimination throughout the world for all time.

Anyways, it sounds like the environments that you've been surrounded by haven't been friendly to you. I don't really see how or why you'd have a problem with being Russian if you were here in America. In California, anyways. There's tons of Russians everywhere and being the "most discriminated of all nations all over the world" seems hard to believe.
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#65
maybe she means, most misunderstood? [Image: eh.gif]
Make every moment count!
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#66
Russians are respected in Greece...
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#67
being stared at is probably why I sort of gave up the idea of living in Japan permanently. It hurts too much not to be accepted as local in my first home country...
but then, never say never!
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#68
Yeah, it must be pretty shocking for a lot of Japanese people when you open your mouth and start speaking perfect Japanese. I'd probably stare too [Image: stare.gif]

In fact, the first time I met you, I think I <i>was </i>staring [Image: blink.gif] (ne, on the Ham.& Shitty line)
Make every moment count!
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#69
<!--quoteo(post=183810:date=May 29 2007, 03:36 AM:name=gaijin)-->QUOTE(gaijin @ May 29 2007, 03:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->and now I am on the 3rd phase: i became more self-aware without connecting my identity to japan (or, asians). asians somehow never fully except me. they persist on calling me european (and i personally find it annoying for the things they imply by it). but for a european, that's ridiculous to think of me as of a european. i'm 100% asian! (that doesn't annoy me, although in many cases it also implies a lot, but not in a phase for making european friends - so i don't care for the moment. just that i know one chinese gal, and she speaks perfect english, and she hangs out a lot with europeans, but somehow she doesn't fit in their community, it's just such a pity to watch her trying so hard and living in her illusions. i don't say all the europeans are like that. but most of the halvsies would understand what i mean, as they've been through it in europe as well. guess it just how it works in this world).<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

English people tend to think of themselves "beyond European" so I don't know if this counts but where I lived in London people didn't try to allude me to one race or the other. This was generally because 95% of where I lived was in no way English by blood meaning there were a number of other mixed race kids (not many Japanese, but a few) so perhaps they understood, in a way, or they didn't care, which to be honest neither did I. I think it's important to know your cultural background but in the end really you don't have to be one, the other or both, just be yourself.
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#70
All the Russians in Finland I happened to have been acquainted with were very nice, friendly people beyond what you'd expect from the stereotype, weary Finn.

Sadly i can't otherwise deviate terribly much from what gaijin said about the discrimination part. It could be different in the new world countries, but in Europe, sadly many of the ex-iron curtain people are generally speaking still viewed with some suspicion, from Finland to Portugal with the UK included. Maybe this will change over the next 30 years.
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#71
I don't know, maybe russkies have a very poor opinion of themselves. All the Russians (European and Asian) I've met so far have been unfailingly kind and hospitable. Actually, there's a sizeable community or Russians in Thailand who are way better behaved than some other unmentionable nationalities... [Image: ph34r.gif]
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#72
Think I know whut you mean... [Image: ph34r.gif]
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#73
<!--quoteo(post=183947:date=May 29 2007, 05:20 AM:name=danielyuki)-->QUOTE(danielyuki @ May 29 2007, 05:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Yeah, it must be pretty shocking for a lot of Japanese people when you open your mouth and start speaking perfect Japanese. I'd probably stare too [Image: stare.gif]

In fact, the first time I met you, I think I <i>was </i>staring [Image: blink.gif] (ne, on the Ham.& Shitty line)<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

I think you stared at me not because I was speaking in Japanese (I normally don't speak to myself...), but because I was so stunning (NOT) in my JAL uniform! [Image: laughlong.gif]

As to the staring, I understand why it's being done, it's not meant in a mean way or anything, but it's just so tireing over time.
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#74
<!--quoteo(post=183914:date=May 29 2007, 03:41 AM:name=swiss miss)-->QUOTE(swiss miss @ May 29 2007, 03:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->being stared at is probably why I sort of gave up the idea of living in Japan permanently. It hurts too much not to be accepted as local in my first home country...<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->



uhm well if it bothers you and you're not haafu or japanese , imagine how it feels for someone who IS half japanese. It's a lot more hurtful and annoying.
地獄少女
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#75
Trutru, some of us are doing our best to fit in here, but a lot Japanese cannot accept someone if they don't look Japanese ne. Shoganai.

I think we're all guilty of "light" racism sometimes. The other day, a young man of middle-eastern origin joined us for basketball and lunch. I deliberately didn't ask him his ethnicity so I wouldn't draw any conclusions about him based.

I have to admit, whenever I see haafu kids on the train or anywhere, I tend to stare [Image: stare.gif] Particularly if they're half black. I try and look into their lives and imagine what it's like to be them here (tough surely).
Make every moment count!
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#76
It hurts most when a family member only perceives you as gaijin.
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#77
<!--quoteo(post=184467:date=Jun 1 2007, 08:10 AM:name=Marisuke)-->QUOTE(Marisuke @ Jun 1 2007, 08:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->It hurts most when a family member only perceives you as gaijin.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
[Image: console.gif]
That's such a shame [Image: sad.gif]
nihongo umai no ni ne...
Make every moment count!
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#78
luckily all my Japanese fmaily members have always treated my sis and i like Japanese.. like they couldnt see we looked a bit different.. that is why I just LOVE my Japanese family.....

My Greek family.. well I have said it a million times... they were so mean to mother that I just dont consider them family.. and its sad.. cause since I grew up in Greece, I really did miss the Granny and Grappa figure around...
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#79
I only have one aunt (who married in ) who sees me as gaijin.
The rest see me as any Japanese luckily. [Image: smile.gif]
I've bitched about this woman so many times so I shall stop now. haha

My dad's family is ...
My grandparents never liked my mother.
For my cousins they did a lot... for my sister and I... on our birthdays we didn't even get a phone call. I know this is evil to say, but I'm so glad they're gone. When my grandfather was sick, he had a nerve to move to Canada and my sister and I had to go to the hospital to visit him.
I guess it doesn't help that my dad and his sister never get along.

OK- off to work.
Happy thoughts ---
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#80
Yeah me too. My Japanese family accepts me exactly as I am. That is, a haafu. They totally acknowledge that it's a unique thing to be so they treat me like one of them but at the same time ask me about my life and what it's like for me and they don't just assume that my other culture is just Italian. They actually understand that growing up in lots of different places means being influenced by different cultures. They're really wonderful in that regard, especially my Obaa-chan.
Unfortunately my Italian family is a totally different thing. OK, I know that they're very simple small town people, but to them I'm Japanese and that's it, and they don't want to know anything about my life or who I am, since they're thrown by anything that's different. When I see them, they ask me two questions: How are you? How's work? And that's it. They of course know my vital stats, but they have no idea who I am, nor are they interested. I could even accept this, since they're small town folk, but unfortunately being Italian, they believe that family is everything (even though they treat each other like crap and have a very unhealthy relationship in my view). So they instead see me as stuck up, inconsiderate and selfish because 1. I 'abandoned' my parents by not living with them (the fact that I moved to a country I hate for them is not a sacrifice in their eyes, but a duty. Besides hating Italy is inconceivable, it's the best and only country in the world, didn't you know?) 2. I don't go and see them every vacation I get (Hellooo? I'm finally living the same country and you guys, so why don't YOU guys move your asses and come and visit ME for once??? It's only a six-hour drive! Besides, you can afford it, and I can't.) 3. I'm not Catholic. They just don't understand how this is even possible and like to blame it on my 'bad' upbringing. I swear, it's such bullshit when they try and make me feel guilty for not acting like I'm part of the family, when they can't even get over their stupid ignorant fears long enough to try and get to know me. What pisses me off the most about this is the way my mother handles the situation. She would be the ideal bridge between me and them, but she instead chooses to go along with their charade. Half the time on the rare occasions when they actually ask me something, she either rushes to answer for me in case I give the 'wrong' answer, or she'll try and dismiss or gloss over what I said. For instance even though they claim that family is everything, they avoid talking about anything real or personal, so instead one of their favorite topics is food. They're always talking about what they had for lunch and what they'll have for dinner. So when they ask me, I tell them what I ate. Unlike them, I don't eat pasta every meal, so if I had curry or a Caesar salad, that's what I'll say. This is where my mom will quickly say something like "oh, it's just this weird Indian / American thing she likes". Being who they are, they'd never say 'oh, that sounds really different. What's it like?" Like I said, their behavior wouldn't bother me, if they didn't act all indignant over my apparent lack of 'family duty'.
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