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Being stared at - Does it make you uncomfortable?
#81
my big fear is that if i ever met my japanese family, they would never accept me either..for all i know my dad could be married with kids..and who is this gaijin american coming in trying to be part of our family? i don't need more rejection in my life..had enough of that

it's really nice that your japanese family is they way they are, global nomad ^^
at least i know there are more open people out there
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[color="#008080"]We can not plead against inhuman tyrannies if we don't know what it is to be human. - Robin Fox, anthropologist

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#82
<!--quoteo(post=184567:date=Jun 1 2007, 07:41 AM:name=hoshi)-->QUOTE(hoshi @ Jun 1 2007, 07:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->my big fear is that if i ever met my japanese family, they would never accept me either..for all i know my dad could be married with kids..and who is this gaijin american coming in trying to be part of our family? i don't need more rejection in my life..had enough of that

it's really nice that your japanese family is they way they are, global nomad ^^
at least i know there are more open people out there<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Truthfully, I know that you're scared of that rejection and that you really don't want that kind of pain in your life, but you also have to be realistic. Like you said, for all you know your dad could be married with kids and may have a hard time "accepting" you into his family at a flip of a switch. His wife and mother to his other children may resent you coming back into his life, etc. There's lots of things that may happen and while I hope the best for you, I think it's important for you to realize the potential risks and realities that may exist in finding your Japanese family and your father.

You're a wonderful person from what I've seen. I hope that you are able to find what you're looking for, but know that even if they are never able to accept you, it doesn't make you any less a person nor should it make you feel any differently about yourself. In the end, it is (and always has been) his ultimate loss not having you in his life.

*hug*
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#83
I can remember when I was in Stratford with my sister, and this Chinese guy walked past, and he just stared with his mouth open [Image: ohmy.gif]
I guess it's weird seeing twin halvsies though.

Sometimes it gets annoying, but most of the time I just find it funny.
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#84
Are you and your sister identical twins? That's already pretty cool, but if on top of that you're also halvies, then I guess I can't blame the poor guy. Though in my experience I've found that Asian men in particular are fascinated by halvsie women. He probably just thought you guys were hot!
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#85
I'm fatter and she wears more make-up. It's easy to tell us apart now *laugh*
Haha, I keep going "no way! We're not hot!" but then Hana just smacked me over the head and said "speak for yourself"
I think it's just the facination of seeing halvsies more than anything. I think I would stare if I saw someone I thought was mixed too! "Oh wow, someone like me!"
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#86
Staring is a pet peeve of mine. It makes me uncomfortable ... even more so after I was approached by an older man in a restaurant about looking like someone he "used to know" and then seeing him at my job, at a store, at another restaurant ... creepy.
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#87
Living in Hiroshima in the late '70s was an experience to say the least. I was stared at all the time. In retrospect, it was probably the first, and maybe only time that the starers had ever seen a furriner in the flesh... Yeah, they had the TV commercials with the "Twinings Tea Please" and the "Quintrix" and all that, but to see a furriner IN LIVING FLESH... oh my God, where's my camera??? [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif[/img]

My sister was going to the local kindergarten, and later went to Japanese public school until the second grade. The folks may have kept her there longer, but it seems that upper-class girls would be mean to her because she was bi-lingual, so she stopped speaking English altogether. But anyway, her school did a play, and she was going to be in it, so the camera buff I was, I walk toward the stage, off to one side of the auditorium to get a good shot of her. sitting right next to where I stood was a mother, daughter of about 4 or 5, I guess, and a father. The little girl was staring with jaw on the floor at the gaijin that was standing in front of her. I gave her a wink, which usually drives them batshit because most Japanese people, especially at that age, cannot wink to save their life. The girl was different... wasn't phased at the least - almost trans-like... Then, after the initial shock wore off, I guess, she whispers something into her mother's ear. Her mother shakes her head in disagreement, but the little girl keeps insisting, and mom keeps shaking her head. Finally, in frustration, she starts pushing her mother's chin away from her, and mom is having a difficult time fighting back with just the neck muscles... This goes on for about 5 minutes, and she figures that she's NOT gonna get mom to "Look, there's a gaijin standing next to you!" The little girl then turns the opposite direction, and starts to tell dad something, who jiggles his head left to right and tells her to sit and be quiet. Receiving a big gold star for determination from myself, she procedes to grab dad's chin and start pulling so that dad will look to see that she wasn't lying, there really IS a gaijin standing in the aisle, Look, Look! Of course, she had a stronger pull than push, but dad had a stronger neck than mom too...

Then my sister took the stage, and I walked even closer to the stage, making my appearance more evident to the mom and dad in question... they didn't have to turn their heads to see me now... I could hear the little girl jumping up and down on her chair, and her parents trying desperately to quiet her without looking or sounding like a monkey trainer.

I used to really get a kick out of the people who would come up to me while minding my own business, and say "Twinings Tea Please" ... Do I LOOK like a freakin' waiter??? Then someone else would come up to me and yell "Quintrix!" or "This is a pen" (And THIS is where you can stick it!) and my favorite, "For Beautiful Human Life..." To this day, I have yet to figure out what the heck "Beautiful Human Life" IS, forget how that product can obtain it for you... I realized later that these idiots, who couldn't speak a word of English, wanted to confirm that the English used on TV commercials was comprehendable by a native English speaker... D'OH!!! How the hell is a native English speaker going to recognize a contraption for a TV picture tube known as "Quintrix"? and why the hell on the commercial does the furriner keep stressing the proper pronounciation to the old fart who only speaks katakana??? Twinings Tea Please! was also a well chanted greeting... Oh, Hi! Blue Mountain coffee please! How's sister Pepsi Cola doing? Heard from Bireley's Orange lately? Later, Twinings commercials got a litttttle more complex... "One (spoonful of tea) for you, one for me, and one for the pot." Thank God no one has yet to quote me on that line, but I admit I HAVE used it as a punch-line now and then to friends who were either native speakers of English, or knew the language well enough to laugh at the joke...

I kinda miss those days, really... I was really expecting someone to come up to me, and out of the blue, sing, "Yah Yah, McVitties!", "Kentucky Fried Chicken!", or "I'm Lovin' it!"

I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
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#88
man, i was in japan for my last year of H.S. wasn't that exciting......lol people looked at me ALL the time. and often, and for a long time, and for the whole day, the whole week, the month. fuck it everytime i go there! lol just look at it like you're just cooler than anything they've ever seen! most people aren't of foregin origins, it's not america ya know? so they're probably just interested in the diffrent view they see before them. it's not like they hate you for being there, or are bothered by your presence, it's just cuz your diffrent. if you wen to the zoo, and saw a white horse standing in the zebra cage, who do you think would catch your attention? the 40 zebra or stallion standing amongst the other animals of a similar nature? hmmm so remember more often than not, they don't hate you, or wish you weren't there. they're jsut curious! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laughlong.gif[/img]
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#89
SHOULD I BE WORRIED THAT NOBODY stared at me in Japan?!!!
they do only when I am with my grandmother and talk in Japanese or other halvsie cause we simply talk too loud...

other than that everyone think I am poor foreigner so they just do give a shit.. no stare no nothing...

Foreigners though do stare at me in Japan.. strange.. maybe they can see the Japanese-ness in me.. who knows..

Hmm.. now that I think about it noone stared at me in Greece either... I think I should be worried.. I must be invisible! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/crazy.gif[/img]
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#90
So, walking around Chiba the last few days and around Tokyo today, I got stared at a *lot* more in Chiba. In fact, I was riding the bus and a few young construction workers drove by in a van, looked at me, then started talking animatedly as they all looked out the window at me. I flashed them a smile and a thumbs up and they all started laughing and drove off.

I also was at the supermarket and this old lady just sat there eyeing me the entire time. When I caught her looking at me, she flashed me a smile and then went about her business. When I ran into her again, I gave her the biggest toothy grin I could muster, she giggled, and walked off.

The way I figure it, I'm going to get stared at, so why not have some fun with it? I especially love making little kids laugh and stare at me in wonderment (probably wondering how a foreigner could speak their language). [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]
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#91
<!--quoteo(post=188169:date=Jul 11 2007, 06:13 PM:name=hapacheese)-->QUOTE(hapacheese @ Jul 11 2007, 06:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->I especially love making little kids laugh and stare at me in wonderment (probably wondering how a foreigner could speak their language). [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Try winking at them. They try sooooo hard to wink back, but can't do it!!!
Drives them bonkers!
I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
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#92
<!--quoteo(post=188169:date=Jul 12 2007, 05:13 AM:name=hapacheese)-->QUOTE(hapacheese @ Jul 12 2007, 05:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->So, walking around Chiba the last few days and around Tokyo today, I got stared at a *lot* more in Chiba. In fact, I was riding the bus and a few young construction workers drove by in a van, looked at me, then started talking animatedly as they all looked out the window at me. I flashed them a smile and a thumbs up and they all started laughing and drove off.

I also was at the supermarket and this old lady just sat there eyeing me the entire time. When I caught her looking at me, she flashed me a smile and then went about her business. When I ran into her again, I gave her the biggest toothy grin I could muster, she giggled, and walked off.

The way I figure it, I'm going to get stared at, so why not have some fun with it? I especially love making little kids laugh and stare at me in wonderment (probably wondering how a foreigner could speak their language). [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
damn that was all so cute! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/inlove.gif[/img] ts... u r a nice person hapacheese...

My best moments in Japan are when I am at an onsen with obaachan.... the other old ladies stare in amazement!!! my grandmother is so proud of me and we just walk through all of them hand in hand talking and laughing loudly.. but noone stares in a bad way!!! and we end up talking to all of them and explain how I can be her grandchild... [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]

The other thing that its amusing is in Greece:
most people think Japanese are very short... so... when I am e.g. in the train with my mother and we are sitted, first they stare cause they think its strange am her daughter... and then.. when I stand up to get off the train because I am a bit bigger than the average Greek women they are even more surprised..... [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif[/img] imaging Id be on the train with Yuukiarila, Ekondo and YUMI!!!
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#93
how tall are you, maeku?
[color="#FF8C00"]..,:;"{/'-*~human rights~*-'\}";:,..[/color]

[color="#000080"]I am a citizen of the world[/color]



[color="#008080"]We can not plead against inhuman tyrannies if we don't know what it is to be human. - Robin Fox, anthropologist

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[color="#00FF00"][url="http://www.racefortibet.org"]Race For Tibet[/url][/color]



YOU ARE SAYING IMPUDENCE TO ME! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!
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#94
not really tall.. 1.72 dont know in inch [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif[/img] but the average in Greece is 1.65 or sth
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#95
I'd love to be taller. I'm so short (1.58)

I got stared at today because I wore the wrong thing, so I hid all day until my mum brought some different clothes in for me.
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#96
The wrong thing? Whut's that?
[url="http://sasasunakku.com"]Sasasunakku[/url]
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#97
Non-fashionable clothes
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#98
I never really noticed getting stared at in the US or UK but I always get stared at here in TOkyo. its really weird, i dont like it. Other day I was just standing in a bank and some guy walks right up to me and comes up real close to my face and then just walks away. then i had some crazy dude follow me on a train and stand up right behind me smelling me? like honestly ive only been here a month.
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#99
<!--quoteo(post=184453:date=May 31 2007, 12:02 PM:name=umeboshi)-->QUOTE(umeboshi @ May 31 2007, 12:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->uhm well if it bothers you and you're not haafu or japanese , imagine how it feels for someone who IS half japanese. It's a lot more hurtful and annoying.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

only just saw your reply now, umeboshi...

I wouldn't dare judge as to how difficult it is for someone that actually is half Japanese, as I have no clue (as you rightly point out). But having grown-up in Japan and calling it my first home (I dare do this, as I spent my most formative years there), it wasn't easy to always stand out and having to explain myself. I don't have a drop of Japanese blood, but culturally, I'm not that sure. That's all I meant to say with my comment...
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@ Swiss Miss: yes, you're right. I think what we're all ultimately getting at here is that it sucks to be different from everyone else in a context where being different isn't perceived as a plus, independently of whether you're half-Japanese in Japan, elsewhere or fully non-Japanese in Japan. Getting stared at sucks whatever you look like and wherever you are. I'm not even in Japan, but I still get stared at relentless here and although I try and accept that that's just what people here do, there are days when it really bothers me.
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