-san, -kun, -chan?

[sachi]

I'm so confused with this concept. In textbooks or whatnot everything seems to be very plain and laid out,

but in real life, what is proper?

Is -kun proper for a guy older than you, and up to how much older is

proper? Is this the kind of thing that depends on what kind of relationship you have with the person?



Same with -chan. Can this be used with a girl that is older?

For now, I just stick to -san

except for one of my closer guy-friends, because I really don't know

Just so you can understand my situation a little better, I'm 19

currently, and the people that I work with are ranging from 21-50, both male and female.

Thank

you!!

[SWC]

-chan is

normally used for girls younger than you.

-kun is normally used for boys your age or younger, however my

friend's wife (who is younger than him) always refers to him as Joe-kun.

-san should be used if you

are referring to an older person...or someone you want to show respect to and/or you don't know their age.

(Just to be safe...if you don't know...I would use "san").

[sachi]

<!--QuoteBegin-SWC+Oct 29 2004, 11:16 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%'

cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SWC @ Oct 29 2004, 11:16 AM)</td></tr><tr><td

id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> -chan is normally used for girls younger than you.

-kun is normally used

for boys your age or younger, however my friend's wife (who is younger than him) always refers to him as

Joe-kun.

-san should be used if you are referring to an older person...or someone you want to show

respect to and/or you don't know their age. (Just to be safe...if you don't know...I would use

"san"). [/quote]
Hm. Thanks

for the help, guys.

But what is "same age"?? Because I have some friends that are 20, 21, 26.

I call my twenty-year-old friend "...-kun" and he doesn't seem to be weirded out, so I guess

that's alright?

Haha I guess they don't expect much since I don't look particularly Japanese

[SWC]

<!--QuoteBegin-sachi+Oct 29 2004, 01:54 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%'

cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (sachi @ Oct 29 2004, 01:54 PM)</td></tr><tr><td

id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-SWC+Oct 29 2004, 11:16 AM--></div><table border='0'

align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SWC @ Oct 29 2004,

11:16 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> -chan is normally used for girls younger than

you.

-kun is normally used for boys your age or younger, however my friend's wife (who is younger

than him) always refers to him as Joe-kun.

-san should be used if you are referring to an older

person...or someone you want to show respect to and/or you don't know their age. (Just to be safe...if you

don't know...I would use "san"). <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div

class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hm. Thanks for the help, guys.

But what is "same

age"?? Because I have some friends that are 20, 21, 26. I call my twenty-year-old friend

"...-kun" and he doesn't seem to be weirded out, so I guess that's alright?

Haha I

guess they don't expect much since I don't look particularly Japanese <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div

class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
If your friend(s) are okay with it...then don't worry about it

Sachi-chan. I call my friend Jon "mother f*cker all the time...he doesn't seem to mind (ha,ha,ha!)

[danielyuki]

It's really strange that bucho's (manager type people) in companies call anybody below them kun, eg.

"Sachiko-kun Copy wo tanomu". I think this is the only example when a girl is called kun.

I

always wondered why Japanese people got so excited about meeting someone who is the same age. Have you ever been

in a situation where a Japanese person is asking you those questions, What's your name? What's your

blood type? ( ), how old are you? (and guys do they ever ask

you how "big" you are? ).

If and when you are the same age as them they tend to jump up and

down shouting "tame tame!"

Being the same age means that they don't have to use any keigo and

can talk to you freely. It was strange to me because we don't have this joge kankei( hierarchical

relationship) in western culture.

If you don't add a suffix to a name of someone older/above you it

becomes "yobi-sute" (disrespectful way of calling somone)

[sachi]

yeah! i was wondering about that too. Because in Fruits Basket (the anime), Touru lives with all guys and

all of them (or some?) called her Touru-kun! I wonder how that happened...

By the way what does

"tame tame" mean??

Yes, i know how Japanese people ask all the questions. when i started

working there, everyone asked me, "what's your name? how old are you? and do you have a

boyfriend??" It's kinda nuts in my work, where everyone tries to matchmake the newbies



From the sound of your experiences in

Japan, it sounds like the speech politeness levels in my work are a lot less fixed. For example, the

non-Japanese speakers at my work call the big boss, "Yoshimi" and one of the new Japanese guys heard

this so he started calling her just "yoshimi" without the -san. i think she was a little ticked.

by the way, love the (new?) pic

[danielyuki]

Oooh

calling someone by just their first name... unheard of in Japanese business (always surname plus san). This

annoys me because there's an Austrlian guy in our company called Angus. Everybody calls him Angus and he has

all the perks of being a gaijin (forgiven for having poor Japanese), whereas I am referred to as Kadoya-san and

am therefore Japanese.

Tame (not the English

word/pronunciation) means same age. Tame guchi is the mode of speech when you are talking to someone your own

age.

And the Karoke pic is not that new, I just thought it captured me in a strange pose

[MiraiZ]

I

all three at work (chan,san and kun)...there's one guy at work who calls me chan....but my bucho hated

that...he would say "don't let him call you chan! That's so disrespectful!" But I

don' really care...

[sachi]

<!--QuoteBegin-MiraiZ+Oct 31 2004, 01:12 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%'

cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MiraiZ @ Oct 31 2004, 01:12 AM)</td></tr><tr><td

id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I all three at work (chan,san and kun)...there's one guy at work who calls

me chan....but my bucho hated that...he would say "don't let him call you chan! That's so

disrespectful!" But I don' really care... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div

class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
@mirai:

are u guys close buddies??

one of the older

people in my work (45 or so) is always called ...-chan and she didn't really mind so it just stuck and it

seems it's part of her name. She's Chinese, and her English is better than her Japanese, so I just call

her by her first name. I still can't get myself to call someone that's 26 years older than me

...-chan!!

@daniel:

why don't u like being called kadoya-san?? isn't that a

compliment to the level of your japanese? now that i think about it, most of the people in my work call me by my

english name, because that's what they were used to, but when they put -chan on the end I get all giddy.

[mayucat]

<!--QuoteBegin-SWC+Oct 29 2004, 11:16 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%'

cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SWC @ Oct 29 2004, 11:16 AM)</td></tr><tr><td

id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> -chan is normally used for girls younger than you.

-kun is normally used

for boys your age or younger, however my friend's wife (who is younger than him) always refers to him as

Joe-kun.

-san should be used if you are referring to an older person...or someone you want to show

respect to and/or you don't know their age. (Just to be safe...if you don't know...I would use

"san"). [/quote]
This is

definitly true for people you don't know well, but with friends you can play around a bit.
An

ex-boyfriend used to call me "Ota-kun" cuz he thought it funny I guess, and I often call my much

older, male friends "Ko-chan" or "Toku-chan" affectionately.
Of course, it totally

depends on the situation. If a friend calls me Mayuko-san instead of Mayu-chan, it feels cold and formal, but

if someone I don't know well calls me mayu-chan in a formal situation, it can seem condescending. Also, it

can actually be flattering to call an older woman -chan in really casual settings.

Perhaps I've

complicated the question unneccesarily. I think it's best just to see what everyone else calls the person

and follow along.

Kadoya-san, would you really want your colleagues to call you "danyaru?"

That would be kind of rude I would imagine.

[danielyuki]

Recently I've been signing all my e-mails 　ダニエル in the hopes that they

will call me Daniel in the office. I think it is better that way because they won't expect the same thing of

me as they do their native Japanese staff.

I like the way older Japanese ladies prefer being called

oneesan instead of obasan or obachan. My mum would always tell me to call her friends oneesan even if they were

in their 30s

[mayucat]

Right

on, bro. You show Angus. So you would rather *not* be considered Japanese? Or you want to be acknowledged as

both? Right on again then.

[danielyuki]

This is

quite interesting because me and Mayucat were in a club recently and we started talking to an Australian lady. I

introduced myself as "Daniel" and Mayucat as "Mayuko" (her "real" name). Later on

the lady told us that she thought that I was English and Mayuko was fully Japanese. I think this had a lot to do

with our names being English/Japanese. If I'd introduced myself as Yuki (which I never do) she might have

thought that I was fully Japanese too.

People automatically create an image of you from your name.

That's why I don't want people to create the wrong image of me from my Japanese name.

A similar

phenomenon has been described previously by Kristina Schneider... who is not a blonde German girl

[sachi]

<!--QuoteBegin-danielyuki+Nov 1 2004, 04:58 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%'

cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (danielyuki @ Nov 1 2004, 04:58 AM)</td></tr><tr><td

id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
A similar phenomenon has been described previously by Kristina Schneider...

who is not a blonde German girl <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

<!--QuoteEEnd-->
That happened to me, too! My Calculus I professor was from Moscow, Russia. So, I had to

get my midterm regraded and he noticed that my last name was very Russian. He looked at face, then he looked

the name... my face... my name... And he couldn't see the connection so he's said, "You're....

Russian??" and I said "Yeah, I'm a 1/4 Russian" but he just recently came from Moscow, so I

don't think he really understood me. But from then on, I was his favourite student in the class (that's

how I managed to get a B+ even though I hardly understood the material)

[danielyuki]

<!--QuoteBegin-sachi+Nov 1 2004, 04:41 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%'

cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (sachi @ Nov 1 2004, 04:41 PM)</td></tr><tr><td

id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-danielyuki+Nov 1 2004, 04:58 AM--></div><table border='0'

align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (danielyuki @ Nov 1

2004, 04:58 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
A similar phenomenon has been described

previously by Kristina Schneider... who is not a blonde German girl <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div

class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
That happened to me, too! My Calculus I professor was from Moscow,

Russia. So, I had to get my midterm regraded and he noticed that my last name was very Russian. He looked at

face, then he looked the name... my face... my name... And he couldn't see the connection so he's said,

"You're.... Russian??" and I said "Yeah, I'm a 1/4 Russian" but he just recently

came from Moscow, so I don't think he really understood me. But from then on, I was his favourite student in

the class (that's how I managed to get a B+ even though I hardly understood the material)

<!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div

class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I said somewhere (maybe in this topic) that a friend of mine only

recently realised that I am half English (and not 100% Japanese), despite only knowing me as DANIEL SMITH!