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Being stared at - Does it make you uncomfortable?
<!--quoteo(post=180579:date=May 8 2007, 07:32 PM:name=Global Nomad)-->QUOTE(Global Nomad @ May 8 2007, 07:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->People who started at me in Japan were always kids. I think the adults are too polite to do that. In Italy, where I've been living for the past seven years, I get it everyday. A Romanian friend once told me she felt the same way. I usually ignore it and don't bother glaring back, but there are times when I'm like "oh come on! What could possibly be so fascinating?" It used to happen in Spain as well, so I'm wondering if it's a Mediterranean thing. I still haven't figured out whether it's something that's considered rude here since people seem to do it quite unabashedly. I don't know if this is also the case in Portugal and Greece.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
@ GlobalNomad and @ all u beatufiul ladies out there..

Apart from the kids in Japan (that find u strange cause they r kids and they dont know how to look politely) the rest of the WORLD stares u cause u look so damn beautiful!!! everyone is probably like "oh... look at her... she is... what is she? Dont know but she is gorgeous".... SO be happy and enjoy it!! [Image: laughlong.gif]

ON a more serious note: yes.. its impolite to stare and it usually feels like u want to turn to them and say "what r u lookin at"... but.. to be honest.. I have caught myself looking - staring at some beautiful people of any ethnic background.... that I thought were "interesting" so.. I cant really blame others doing it to me..

now..@all male halvsie... face it.. people stare at u cause u probably have some lettuce piece leftovers on your teeth or some hard piece of somethin on your nose.... [Image: ph34r.gif]

Juuuuuust kidding.... the same thing applies for u too.... u all r beautiful...

I have said it before i know.. but when I have halvsie friends here, like the time Davide and Snoball were here or Katja and Yojimbo, people would stare (politely) and I could teel that they were thinking "oh... strange mix of people"... but that is not a bad thing always.... <!--colorc-->

<!--quoteo(post=180583:date=May 9 2007, 03:49 AM:name=umeboshi)-->QUOTE(umeboshi @ May 9 2007, 03:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->erm erm okini that's quite sweet but im too poor to afford photoshop LOL.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Almost as if to say people actually go around paying for photoshop...! lol

<!--quoteo(post=180611:date=May 9 2007, 07:51 AM:name=MsYumiBr)-->QUOTE(MsYumiBr @ May 9 2007, 07:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->I was on the train last night and I guess the Japanese men aren't used to seeing a tiny bit of cleavage because they kept staring at my chest!<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

I beleive this is not so much a Japanese thing, just a guy thing. Maybe gaijin guys are better at hiding it, haha.

As for staring I unfortunately don't look good/gaijin enough to get many stares. Still being a gaijin in Tokyo now is nothing special, unless you're like 7ft and black (not racism, just fact). This might not have been the case a decade or more ago, or if you're not in Tokyo, once you step out of the 23wards you're alone, lol, you and the JETs, that's it. The fact is in those cases you're something out of the ordinary so I wouldn't really blame people for burning a mental image of you in the back of their minds. It's weird, sure, but hell, you might be their first! (Not of TV, that is).

That's just for staring, there are many more examples of gaijin related isolation and rejection I could go through but that wouldn't belong in this topic, haha.

If you want to get stared at in Tokyo (say, if you're not getting your fair share), might I suggest a halvsie offkai. Sure one or two halvsies may be nothing outta the ordinary but 10 or more may grant you a quick look.
[center]Nobody knows who I am on this forum...!

Except that I'm in all the Tokyo meetup pics... hah

<!--quoteo(post=180713:date=May 9 2007, 06:00 PM:name=Eddie)-->QUOTE(Eddie @ May 9 2007, 06:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Note:
If you want to get stared at in Tokyo (say, if you're not getting your fair share), might I suggest a halvsie offkai. Sure one or two halvsies may be nothing outta the ordinary but 10 or more may grant you a quick look.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Maybe we could make this into a contest at the next off-kai, who gets the most stares [Image: stare.gif]
Make every moment count!
<!--quoteo(post=180622:date=May 9 2007, 01:43 AM:name=Sirena)-->QUOTE(Sirena @ May 9 2007, 01:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->No, seriously, I always chalk up stares to people thinking I look odd.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Alas, I came to the same conclusion too, since I get most stares from women.
Sometimes when I'm feeling a bit self-conscious, I wonder what the hell that person is staring at but I eventually shrug it off cause I stare at women all the time. [Image: perv.gif]
I haven't been stared at for years and years, at least to my knowledge. Well, haven't left Europe during the last 10 years, so that may be a partial explanation.

I may be inclined to stare at anybody who looks interesting, be that now "ethnic", attractive or a combination thereof, but try to avoid staring, it's impolite.
I get stared at often too, but it's mostly because my flatmate does strange things (mostly with her Facebook account) and I am guilty by association.
When Yuuki and I got dressed up for halloween, NO one looked at us! I was wearing a silver wig and Yuuki was wearing a chinese dress and we are both very tall girls( 5'9). So, if you don't want to be stared at, I suggest you look like a freak. If you look like a freak, people will be too afraid to look at you! [Image: wacko.gif]
" is the kiss of decay and mortality that makes grape juice into Pinot Noir."
when people stare at me, I used to get freaked out.

but now I just wink and tell them that I'm number one. It doesnt make any sense whatsoever, but I gain a sense of sick satisfaction.
[Image: random_number.png]
<!--quoteo(post=182378:date=May 17 2007, 10:29 PM:name=kuribo)-->QUOTE(kuribo @ May 17 2007, 10:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->when people stare at me, I used to get freaked out.

but now I just wink and tell them that I'm number one. It doesnt make any sense whatsoever, but I gain a sense of sick satisfaction.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Do you say it or just whisper it? Whispering it makes it so much hotter. *I'm number one!* *kissing your finger and then pointing to the sky*
I want to be back at the beach...
<!--quoteo(post=182382:date=May 18 2007, 11:34 AM:name=iconSam)-->QUOTE(iconSam @ May 18 2007, 11:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Do you say it or just whisper it? Whispering it makes it so much hotter. *I'm number one!* *kissing your finger and then pointing to the sky*<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

dude, wtf? why are you stalking me? go talk to your wife.

and I dont whisper it. i just look at them dead on and tell them. it works.
[Image: random_number.png]
<!--quoteo(post=180589:date=May 8 2007, 10:18 AM:name=Hanako)-->QUOTE(Hanako @ May 8 2007, 10:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->In Japan I don't notice it
But when it happened to me in Berlin, boy, was I surprised......<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Pffft, really? I get that too but only sometimes, maybe they thought something like 'that turkish girl is really well dressed'...

I got quite a few stares when I went to Liechtenstein once as a kid (that's this little backward mountain state south of Germany, between the other little backward mountain states Austria and Switzerland, with a population that doesn't even fill half of a soccer stadium), and we where in this little village for a few days. Again, like Tadashi said, it might be unusual for them just to see anyone new there.
"Once you figure out what a joke everything is, being the Comedian's the only thing that makes sense."
hmm..... beeing stared by A LOT of eyes last night.... did not made me uncomfortable.. just made me feel lonely.. [Image: sad.gif]
Being stared at is nothing.
When I lived in Hiroshima in the '70s - all of the furriners living there knew each other, and there weren't a whole lot of us.
Soooo.... for the average person on the street, seeing a furriner in the flesh, as in, NOT on a freakin' "Twinings Tea Please" TV commercial, was a BIG thing... I had little kids stare while chasing me, and obasans on bicycles would run into them, but it didn't stop them...
Wanna know what's worse than being stared at?
How about having someone tell everyone you work with that you are something that you are not...

Okay, I have a "gaijin-face" I look more furrin than Japanese. Can I help that? Anyone know of a good plastic surgeon?
In the US, while living in the midwest, people would think I was either American Indian or from Mexico by heritage.
Over on the West coast of the US, a lot thought I was Mexican.
Here in Japan, quite a few think I am from Brazil, or have some sort of Latin heritage.
In Akihabara once, someone called out to me in their native tongue, "Hola Amigo!"

When my mother died suddenly, I rushed to Narita to get a plane back home. One of the security ladies there asked if I was booked on Turkish airways, or whatever Turkey's Airline is called. It's not unusual to call out to passengers who may be late for their plane ready to take off, and because I may possess some facial characteristics of someone from Turkey, she asked, I guess.

I told this episode to a guy at the office.

He turns around, and says that I DO look Turkish - in fact, I look Al Qaida too... WTF???
Then he jokes around that I have a copy of the Koran in my desk, that I bow towards Mecca everyday at the same time, that I received Al Qaida training before coming to Japan, ANYTHING and everything that he can think of to make me out as a terrorist. I have been asking him for nearly TWO years now to cut it out, but he won't. A while back, after a business trip, I whip out my passport in which I had some receipts for money I wanted back from the company... He says, lemme see your passport, and I, stupidly, handed to him without thinking about anything. His reply was, "They do some good forgery work in Arabia - looks authentic to me..."
So anyway, yesterday, I just couldn't take it anymore, and snapped.
He had received an e-mail from a customer who is not too good at English. He asked me if I could understand what he was trying to say, so I read it, and explained to him what I thought it read. He understood, and called the factory to explain it to them, by saying, "According to the Arabian sitting next to me..." Am I crazy? or is that just fucking RUDE? Help the guy out, and he insults me... So if the guy had me over to dinner, and after stuffing myself, I shit on his living room carpet - is THAT rude???
I lost it. I'm sorry, I felt soooo much like breaking his jaw, but since I was in the office, I decided to be civil. I turned off my computer, went home, and hoped to cool down. Trouble is, the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. I imagine him cracking that joke at a company party... "He's actually an Arab terrorist, and his passport is a fake... " ha fucking ha ha. So now, everyone in the office thinks it's fun to make me out as a terrorist...

Let me be perfectly clear.
Being called an "Arab", "Turkish", or from ANY Middle East country, or accusations that I practice in one of the religions practiced there - no insult.
Being called one of the above in association with Terrorist groups residing in those countries - insult.
Being called "Al Qaida", "Terrorist", "Guerilla" or anything associated with exactly what the US is fighting against right now - prepared to spend a month or so in the hospital having your food chewed FOR YOU? (I would go for the nose, but he wears glasses, and I don't want to cut my fist on broken glass...)

And if you think that I'm paranoid, one of the salesguys at the head office was discussing a blueprint with one of our designers. The designer says that he cannot understand the english on the drawing, so the salesguy told him to "Ask the Al Qaida sitting across from him" (me, of course...) so the shit has spread - and now it's about to hit the fan.
I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
THAT is bad... you should take it up with senior management. [Image: hmm.gif]
Make every moment count!
<!--quoteo(post=183235:date=May 23 2007, 09:18 PM:name=danielyuki)-->QUOTE(danielyuki @ May 23 2007, 09:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->THAT is bad... you should take it up with senior management. [Image: hmm.gif]<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I would, but he's got them convinced too.
I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
Shit, I guess a suicide bomb is the only other option [Image: rolleyes.gif]

[Image: shutup.gif] sorry.
Make every moment count!
<!--quoteo(post=183237:date=May 23 2007, 09:22 PM:name=danielyuki)-->QUOTE(danielyuki @ May 23 2007, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><!--quotec-->Shit, I guess a suicide bomb is the only other option [Image: rolleyes.gif]

[Image: shutup.gif] sorry.<!--QuoteEnd--><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I was thinking of crashing a plane into the 3d story of our office building, but the surrounding bulidings are too high, and I don't know how to fly a plane anyway...

And a remote controlled plane would only crack the window...
I'm just an ordinary average guy (Joe Walsh)
haha, very good suggestions [Image: thumbup.gif]

But seriously, I think the best way to solve this (if your managers aren't going to listen) is to do something that will completely replace the Al-Qaeda image. Like... dressing up as Elvis... or something [Image: hmm.gif] maybe that would be worse...
Make every moment count!
Does your coworker find it funny?
Is he Caucasian?
Maybe refer to him as a member of the IRA?

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