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how is my stand up comedy?
#1
guys, i'll be performing at my local club. it's open mic night for amateurs like myself. i'm really nervous.



i've been working really hard on my material! i base my stand up on don rickles. my comedy is the type of topics that other comedians are afraid to touch. the real getcha in the gut type comedy. like "BAM,BOOM,WHOOM, he did not just go there!" type comedy.





(copied and pasted from my notes of comedy. please do not steal my material, i've worked really hard on these bits)



( set up) so the other day i went to the movie theaters. i noticed the unusually long line full of teens. ( punchline) then i looked at the sign at it said justin bieber concert! so i say to myself, hey what am i doing here!? I'm at the wrong place, get me outta here!



(set up) i was at the market yesterday, and i finally get all my shopping done i'm at the check out and the guy before has his shopping cart full of food. ( punchline)so I say to the guy hey you robbing the store or what!? i ain't got all day here!



( set up )the park is a great place to relax at. i see this women walking her dog which looks like a toy. So i tell her, hey is that a dog or a stuffed toy, ( punchline ) and she tells me it's a toy dog! heeeey whatta ya know!



(set up ) so i'm walking down the street and come across a gay couple. (punch line)yeah and i say to myself which is the husband and which is the wife?! heeeeey!





thanks any feed back would be great.
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#2
Heeeeeyy!



Yep, cleary brilliant material. And don't let any (worthless word) heckle you. Recommended come back lines include:



"Your MOMMA!"



"so what!?



And the ever reliable and unbeatable...



"You and what army?"
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.



Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas.
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#3
gut burstingly hilarious stuff. could do with some jokes though.
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#4
What?
[url="http://sasasunakku.com"]Sasasunakku[/url]
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#5
you could tell some chuck norris jokes, those are pretty fresh
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#6
[quote name='Tadashi' date='05 February 2011 - 03:59 AM' timestamp='1296907188' post='229017']

gut burstingly hilarious stuff. could do with some jokes though.

[/quote]

excuse me but don't fuck with me asshole. unappreciative fucker. go to hell jerk!
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#7
*sorry guys* but that really made mad



i don't normally use those cursed words, but he really made me angry!
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#8
Haha troll much?
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.



Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas.
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#9
^very disappointing trolling..



I mean like, he could have put some more effort in to it. at least try to seem somewhat normal and build up some credibility before acting offended and shit. this was just very meh..



wolfie - if you wanna get me riled up and angry, you'll have to do a little bit better than "unappreciative fucker"..
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#10
i always do penis jokes. Penis jokes are the best.
"I thought i was done for, trampled in the snow. Suddenly i felt her hand on my shoulder. The warmth returned to my bones, and together we repelled the beasts."

--Legends of the North
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